Cumpleannos Feliz

Pues si. Ayer cumpli 33 annos. Confieso que la noche anterior llore recordando a mi papa, que debe estarnso viendo desde alla arriba, pero el dia en general fue muy especial y lleno de llamadas, e-mails y detalles de los panas y la familia. A continuacion, comparto un e-mail que me mando el pana Chucho desde Toronto. Me parecio demasiado comico, porque describe perfectamente las “fiestecitas de cumpleannos” venezolanas:

Hoy como que estas de cumpleaños. Bueno, espero que la pases muy bien, te eches unos cuantos palos, te piquen tu torta y/o/u gelatina, te tomes tu Frescolita, te hagan tu quesillo, te tumben tu piñata, le repartan cotillon a tus amiguitos, no tegas que salir corriendo a comprar hielo porque se acabo, no te den dos regalos repetidos, te den los regalos con pilas incluidas, no te regalen ropa sino juguetes, repartan tequeños (cocidos), perrocalenticos (con salchichas cocktail), el payaso no llegue curdo, no llueva y tengan que tapar la piñata con una bolsa de basura hasta que escampe, las viejas del edificio no se quejen porque tienes la musica a todo volumen, no tengas que estar de portero cada vez que llegue un invitado y tener que abrir 15 rejas 4 puertas 3 ascensores, que no se roben ningun carro, que el mesonero no lleve los sobrados ni los fonditos de las botellas de Whisky, que le pongas la cola al burro, que no te vistan como un patiquincito y luego te regañen porque escoñetaste la ropita nueva corriendo por toda la fiesta, que no pongan Popy….. Bueno en fin, que la pases de pinga pues!

Zen of Business Administration

Acabo de terminar de leerme este libro. Es realmente util. En paralelo con mi lectura sobre Budismo, que con este volumen ya va por el tercer libro, ofrece una perspectiva refrescante acerca de formas en las cuales acoplar la “vida laboral” y la “vida personal” de uno, si es que existe tal dicotomia. Al final, hay tantos y tantos elementos fascinantes que propone el autor que no puedo evitar sino lamentarme por haberlo terminado, y sentirme lleno de ganas de volverlo a leer.

Suffering comes from Attachment

I was reading earlier the March 2005 issue of the magazine Shambhala Sun, and I ran into a part of the cover story, which struck me like a lightning. I had actually read about it in the book I’ve been checking out (The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Buddhism), but it seems I was a bit asleep when I read accross it.

It’s one simple truth:
SUFFERING COMES FROM ATTACHMENT.

How simple can that be? I mean, think of it! How many times do you suffer in your life? If you stick to the Buddhist Four Noble Truths, you may agree that life is suffering (truth #1). Well, truth #2 happens to be precisely that suffering comes from attachment, from our granting a weight and value to things (thirst, craving) and our ignorance of the real nature of life.

I felt so released when I rediscovered this truth. I feel so identified with it. Indeed, I can recall LOTS of times when I’ve suffered in my life because I’ve been attached to something or someone in a way that reflected my ignorance of the true nature of things…

I shall call it a day now. I’ve learned quite a lesson!

Carta a mi Esposa desde el Cielo

Con motivo del Dia de los Enamorados, a dos dias de cumplirse un mes de la muerte de papa…

Hoy venia al trabajo manejando y pense como seria si hoy el le escribiera a mama una carta desde el cielo. Esto fue lo que me inspiro.

***********************************
Hace apenas unos dias que me fui.
Se que para ti,
Mas bien parecen semanas o siglos.

Hace instantes sentia tu mano
En la mia,
Y veia el retrato en la mesa
Lleno de alegria.

Hoy lo veo todo desde aqui,
Y te veo sufrir
Y no quiero eso para ti.

Se que sabes que llorar
Al ser partido
No es mas que llorar
La soledad.

Porque yo,
En realidad,
Nunca me he ido.

Estoy a tu lado,
A cada paso.
Estoy junto a ti,
Con ustedes,
Aunque no me puedan ver.

Que tal,
Si salimos esta noche
Bajo una luna rosada.
Con lluvia, o si prefieres,
A pasear por Roma
A la luz de los postes
De calles empedradas.

No pienses que me fui temprano,
Cuando te sientas sola.
Recuerda cuanto te amo
En todo momento y lugar.

Deja que te arrulle,
Con un canto silencioso
Y desafinado.
Deja mecer tu cabeza
Lentamente,
Mientras te beso en la frente.

O si estas cansada,
Buenas noches,
Vida mia.

Que en tus sueños
Me sigas sintiendo,
Como cada noche,
Callado, junto a ti,
Enamorado.

How touching. Moves you to contemplate in silence…

It is so impressive that I could find no other reviews about this album. But it is equally impressive that it is not better known. I just got a copy of it from a friend. He sent it to us in the midst of our grief for the passing of my father less than a month ago. When we popped it in the player, we could only hold our breaths and feel as if a musical prayer was being sung for him.

Susanna & The Magical Orchestra come from the same region of the planet as other grand acts full of melancholy come from: Scandinavia. And the voice of Norwegian Susanna Wallumrod clearly approaches the tonality and body of Iceland’s Bjork’s or Emilana Torrini, though more than once the whole sound they present strongly reminds of Canadian Jane Siberry.

Words do no justice to some works, and this is one case, where I feel that a silent review with a tear of joy shed in retribution may be more worthy of such a touching and spectacular work of art. In the meantime, I will simply stand and contemplate the night while I play it in the background.

If you want more background about them, read this BBC review.

The new meaning of songs

Today I was talking to a friend at work how songs, those that we like and sometimes even those that we hate, like many other things around you, present themselves in a new light to you when someone you love goes away.

Specifically, I was listening to two tunes: “Tan Joven y Tan Viejo”, by Spanish singer and songwriter Joaquin Sabina, and “De Vez En Cuando La Vida” by another Spanish genius, Joan Manuel Serrat.

Tan Joven y Tan Viejo
Lo primero que quise fue marcharme bien lejos;
en el álbum de cromos de la resignación
pegábamos los niños que odiaban los espejos
guantes de Rita Hayworth, calles de Nueva York.

Apenas vi que un ojo me guiñaba la vida
le pedí que a su antojo dispusiera de mí,
ella me dio las llaves de la ciudad prohibida
yo, todo lo que tengo, que es nada, se lo di.

Así crecí volando y volé tan deprisa
que hasta mi propia sombra de vista me perdió,
para borrar mis huellas destrocé mi camisa,
confundí con estrellas las luces de neón.

Hice trampas al póker, defraudé a mis amigos,
sobre el banco de un parque dormí como un lirón;
por decir lo que pienso sin pensar lo que digo
más de un beso me dieron (y más de un bofetón).

Lo que sé del olvido lo aprendí de la luna,
lo que sé del pecado lo tuve que buscar
como un ladrón debajo de la falda de alguna
de cuyo nombre ahora no me quiero acordar.

Así que, de momento, nada de adiós muchachos,
me duermo en los entierros de mi generación;
cada noche me invento, todavía me emborracho;
tan joven y tan viejo, like a Rolling Stone.


De Vez En Cuando La Vida
De vez en cuando la vida
Nos besa en la boca
Y a colores se despliega
Como un atlas,
Nos pasea por las calles
En volandas
Y nos sentimos en buenas manos;
Se hace de nuestra medida,
Toma nuestro paso
Y saca un conejo de la vieja chistera
Y uno es feliz como un niño
Cuando sale de la escuela.

De vez en cuando la vida
Toma conmigo café
Y está tan bonita que
Da gusto verla.
Se suelta el pelo y me invita
A salir con ella a escena.

De vez en cuando la vida
Se nos brinda en cueros
Y nos regala un sueño
Tan escurridizo
Que hay que andarlo de puntillas
Por no romper el hechizo.

De vez en cuando la vida
Afina con el pincel
Se nos eriza la piel
Y faltan palabras
Para nombrar lo que ofrece
A los que saben usarla.

De vez en cuando la vida
Nos gasta una broma
Y nos despertamos
Sin saber qué pasa,
Chupando un palo sentados
Sobre una calabaza.


This is kind of tricky for those who can’t read Spanish, but hopefully it will make you pick up a dictionary or ask a Spanish-speaking friend to translate these lyrics for you. They are that good!

These are, in a nutshell, two very sad songs, but they are beautiful at the same time. Specially the last parts of the second song (which I will translate here for you):

De vez en cuando la vida (Once in a while, Life)
Nos gasta una broma (Plays a joke on us)
Y nos despertamos (And we wake up)
Sin saber qué pasa, (Without knowing what happens)
Chupando un palo sentados (Sucking on a stick)
Sobre una calabaza. (Sitting on top of a pumpkin.)

That is a bit how you feel when you wake up the day after “all is accomplished”, so to speak… like the chubby fish on “Nemo”, wondering at the end of the movie “Now what?” (actually we were watching that movie last night, and it gave me a hard time, between laughs… because that movie we saw with my mom and my dad together, before Santiago was born, and it always carried that double meaning for me, where first Marlin was like my dad and I was like Nemo, and I felt the torch was being passed on to me, for me to become Marlin with che coming Nemo… and you want to make things better, than the “previous Marlin”, but at the same time, there are so many things you want to preserve from your Old Man, so many things, that you forget there were any bad ones -if there were any indeed…)

I was reading last night or the night before that it is common for people who loose their loved ones, to only focus and remember the good things, and block away the bad characteristics. You know what? I have tried hard, and I still have a hard time finding negative traits in my dad. The only thing I could “blame him” for not having was a hobby, and even so, he sorta had one: baseball was his thing. Which is why I now wear his Boston Red Sox hat often.

Well… I am kinda dragging, but I didn’t want to finish up this post without touching on the Sabina song, “Tan Joven y Tan Viejo”. This is one song of retrospective, like looking back at life of a troubled man, a man who is embarrassed of portions of his life, but he doesn’t bow and repent. Rather he looks up and says in the end “So for now, no goodbyes, my friends; I fall asleep in the burials of my generation; each night I invent myself, I still get drunk; so young and so old… Like a Rolling Stone”, finishing up quoting Dylan.

It’s tough to describe this song unless you listen to it, so I hope you give yourself the chance to do it, because you won’t regret it. Even if you don’t understand a word, I promise it will make you cry. Tears of joy or tears of sadness, but you will have a hard time escaping it.

So long for now. I should be back next week. For now, at least, I don’t plan on posting much over the weekend.

As I write this, and over the course of the past few days, ironically I’ve been listening to a band called Arcade Fire, and their debut album “Funeral”. Quite a somber title, indeed, but a great CD nonetheless.

I grieve

I just posted this on the PeterGabriel.com forums. I was moved to do it after I stumbled upon a song by Peter Gabriel this morning on the way to work.

===

I hope Peter reads this.

I have followed your music for over 15 years. You are and have always been an artist that has stood for what I believe music and art should be. True to yourself and your beliefs, and able to convey emotions and passions in a way few have been able to.

I remember when I first heard your work, being moved in a way that I thought impossible, saved for moments of prayer or spiritual insight.

A few years ago, you recorded a song for the movie “City of Angels”. It was called “I Grieve”. I remember loving it then. But then you came back with the most extraordinary version of this song on “UP“, and I was transported once more.

Today I listen to this song and I can only wonder what crossed your mind when you wrote it. I listen to it almost two weeks after my dad passed away, a man I loved dearly and will miss a lot. And I grieve, and I can only thank you for putting so well in words and music all the emotions we go through, when we lost someone we love very much.

I really hope you read this, Peter.

With much respect and admiration, from Orlando, FL.

Manny Hernandez

=====

For those who haven’t had the opportunity to hear this precious song, here are the lyrics to it. I took the liberty to copy them from the lyrics section on Peter’s web site.

I GRIEVE

it was only one hour ago

it was all so different then

nothing yet has really sunk in

looks like it always did

this flesh and bone

its just the way that we are tied in

but there’s no-one home

i grieve for you

you leave me

‘so hard to move on

still loving what’s gone

they say life carries on

carries on and on and on

the news that truly shocks is the empty empty page

while the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage

and i can’t handle this

i grieve for you

you leave me

let it out and move on

missing what’s gone

they say life carries on

they say life carries on and on and on

life carries on

in the people i meet

in everyone that’s out on the street

in all the dogs and cats

in the flies and rats

in the rot and the rust

in the ashes and the dust

life carries on and on and on and on

life carries on and on and on

its just the car that we ride in

the home we reside in

the face that we hide in

the way we are tied in

life carries on and on and on and on

life carries on and on and on

did i dream this belief?

or did i believe this dream?

now i will find relief

i grieve